August 26, 2020 “Confession of a crazy Catholic…” That was how I started a message to a friend and colleague who was preparing to lead online Vespers, the evening prayer of the Liturgy of the Hours, early in the pandemic. What was my confession? I told my friend I wasn’t as practiced at praying the Liturgy of the Hours as most of the others participating, and I didn’t want to be asked to lead one of the two sections in the call-and-response style of prayer. A “rebel without a clue” in my younger years, I was away from the Church for over a decade in my 20s and early 30s. I sometimes feel like I don’t know things – theology, prayers, devotions – most other Catholics with whom I interact seem to know. I sometimes attribute that lack of knowledge to that lost decade and the lost time I could’ve been developing that knowledge. I get self-conscious about my lack of knowledge. I worry about what others will think of me when that lack of knowledge becomes apparent. I was thinking about that “confession of a crazy Catholic” as I participated in an online workshop focused on evangelization. While I sometimes get trapped in this idea that I need to be able to answer every question or combat every argument presented to me when I talk to others – especially those outside the Church – about my faith, this workshop reminded me that sharing our faith doesn’t mean beating people over the head with Church teachings and arguments. While theology, apologetics and Church teachings – as well as those devotions and prayers I didn’t know – are important, they’re secondary to our relationships with the Lord. Without love of God and a desire to serve him, the theology, apologetics, devotions and prayers seem pretty hollow. While I may not be able to lead the Liturgy of the Hours, and I may not be able to answer every theological question posed to me, I can share with others how God has changed my life, how God has changed me. That’s something we can all do. Each of us can share our “confession of a crazy Catholic” with others, and we’re called to do just that. |
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